a reflective piece...something of a devotional I guess

The cross calls me. It calls me to come and die anew this day. It asks me to give of myself. In my utter poverty, in my nakedness I must come. I must climb up the Mount Golgotha and gaze upon so horrific a sight. I see the gnarled wood, hewn into a cross so crude to gaze upon. The wood is so badly cut I can see how easy it is to get a splinter. I see the nail-pierced, bloodied feet of my Savior as it is roughly held together by rough wood and blunt metal. The pain is most excruciating. I see where they have beat Him, where flesh has left bone and just hangs. I see the cut up calves and thighs of my Lord. He’s trying to push up to be able to breathe. I gaze upon the nakedness of my Savior shown shamefully for scornful eyes to see. I see His broken body heaving for another breath. I can see He’s dying. His lower torso is covered with sweat, blood, and broken flesh. All intermingle as the hot sun burns and contemptuous eyes scorn. His ribs, though a few are protruding from His body, are still held together somehow. Breath still heaves in and out. His outstretched arms are growing weak; they are shaking under the pressure of the nails that have pierced them. His whole body shakes and quivers. My eyes look upon His head now. Blood flows from the cuts from His crown. I don’t know what to think.

As I stand there I realize something. Though His body is weakened and pained, His face shows strength and confidence. There’s something holding all this together. He found my gaze and we stare into each other’s eyes. There's this deep compassion, this ethereal love; it was almost as if He wanted to embrace me, but at the time of embrace somehow something had taken Him up to a cross and nailed Him there. Then it hit me. He was dying for me. He was dying for my sins. At the moment the weight of that emotion sunk in. He smiled at me. He knew all along. He was waiting for me to realize this all along. The pain stung me further. My sins nailed Him to that cross. The sins of my past, my present, and my future. I was responsible for this treachery. I was responsible for this debauchery. I was crying. I was in tears, just lost. I fell near the foot of the cross.

It seemed like hours but I knew it was only a few minutes. I was crying, wondering what I was supposed to do. It was then that I looked up and saw His loving eyes poring into my soul, into my being. He was speaking to me…in my head.

He was saying: This is my gift to you. My promise. This is the hope that you have long looked for. Everything you have ever done and ever will do, now go through me. Will you follow me? Will you leave everything you have ever done and make Me the Lord of your life? I began crying: Lord I’m not worthy of this gift, but because you have offered it so willingly to me, I cannot refuse it. What must I do O Lord? He says: Come and die a second death. This death I speak of is your accepting the fallen-ness within and accepting My sacrifice. Only then can you live the life I have spoken of. Come die. Come and stay here awhile. Feed on my sacrifice.

I’m shaking now. The gift is working on me. I’m beginning to see things a bit more clearer. Everything’s making a little bit more sense now. Yes Lord I accept. I will live worthy of this call…help me today to fulfill your plan for my life. Help me live in simple obedience to what the cross asks of me. Hold on a second. Jesus you know I can’t do this. It’s impossible on my own strength. He says: Trust me. Hold on to the trust you have in me and think of me in all the hard situations you face today. Yes Lord, I will. I will obey. I will follow you today.