WHAT DOES GRIEF TEACH US

GRIEF teaches us that the world is not predicable.LIFE happens when we least expect it. The Buddhists talk about the fragility of life and life's plans.They talk about the impermanence of things, Grief says,"yeah they're right."

Grief teaches us appreciation.When we were tiny babies,our moms and dads, aunts and uncles, grandparents,brothers and sisters, came to the crib,picked us up,held us made funny faces and noises, we felt  comfortable.We felt safe.In retrospect, grief teaches us that security in Life,happiness comes not from education,or not from achievement,or from possessions, or bank accounts.Happiness and security comes from the fact that there are people who are there for us, people who love us.

Grief teaches us that we get our meaning system,we are safe enough to vote for a particular party .to get an education ,to get up in the morning,to follow our Faith, to hold certain values.

Grief teaches us that when a loved one dies , the rug has been pulled out from under us.The attachment that defined us as a mom or a dad, a grandparent,a brother or a sister is broken,THE WORLD IS NO LONGER A SAFE PLACE. It is no longer safe to hold the values  that we held. We feel that everything is Topsy turvy.

Grief teaches us about Spirituality, Grief teaches us the lessons of openness,In the course of our lives,we have had to build walls around ourselves.We could not have survived in the playground much less the school, or business world unless we protected ourselves by building walls.When you share with those at your table with you,you are giving them the best gift that you can. You are taking a brick or two out of those protective walls and allowing others to see for the fragile , venerable,pain filled person that you are.

Grief gives us the lesson of attentiveness.When we listen to the bereaved,.we are offering the best  we have.How rare is it to actually have someone listen to us.So often people will tell us something and our minds are a thousand miles away.So when we listen to one another we give the second greatest gift the gift of attention,

Grief teaches us appreciation of time. Ours is the only culture that has a phrase about killing time.Grief teaches us what a terrible expression that is.