No Man Wins Alone

A Promise Keeper is committed to pursuing vital relationships with a few other men, understanding that he needs brothers to help him keep his promises.

“Yeah, easy for you to say,” one might think. But deep down, we know it’s true.  No man can find true success or significance doing it all by himself.  Yet that may be the American man’s most pressing need – just a few guys to sharpen him, to move him from mediocrity and compromise to excellence and courage.  The bottom line fact is that an isolated follower of Jesus is extremely vulnerable to the temptations in today’s world and to the enemy’s schemes.

For years, countless small groups of men (3-5 guys) have been meeting regularly for prayer, encouragement and Bible study.  Today, many of these groups continue to meet in coffee shops, churches, restaurants, homes and in their workplaces.

Numerous men’s groups produced accountability structures that prompted lifelong friendships, authentic relating, spiritual maturity and health. Other groups lived their life cycle and ended for a number of reasons: the group served its purpose and it was time to stop; the group lost its momentum; or some other factor caused the group to stop meeting.

Unfortunately, many other men experienced something in their group that spawned a wave of a “been-there-done-that” attitude, implying “I’m not going there again.”  In some cases, the chemistry of the group was wrong. In other groups, leanings towards various forms or legalistic accountability structures prompted shallowness, hiding, and inauthenticity.  In more severe cases, things shared confidentially were leaked to others outside of the group, leaving a trail of betrayal and hurt.

AUTHENTICITY

A man needs brothers in Christ who know him authentically and who are committed to spur him on towards integrity and becoming all that God created him to be.

Not that all our associations are not valid.  Honestly, the guy who surrounds himself with just “church” guys is probably not impacting the world with his faith at a very high level.  Therefore, interaction with non-Christian men is essential.  Part of our new life in Christ is about sharing the good news of Jesus with others who do not yet know the Savior.

But the men closest to you, the guys who are around you enough to see the good, the bad and the ugly, should be men who share your core commitments, to the Christian walk, to purity and integrity, to a strong family, to an active community of believers, to breaking down walls, and to spreading the Good News (see the Seven Promises).

Often, it’s that shared spiritual commitment, that common set of supreme values that allows men to build trust over time.  And then, when you’re hurting, when you really need to get something off your chest, or (yikes) when you need to confess a fault (sin), it’s those men, worthy of your trust, with whom you can share the ugly truth.

Des Moines psychologist and author Gary Rosberg once told a Promise Keepers meeting, “Guys, we all need six men to carry us when we’re dead.  Who’s going to carry us when we’re alive?”

The Saturday morning session at the 2007 Promise Keepers conferences is titled “The Significance of Relating Authentically with a Few Other Men.”  The session leaders will reinforce this point, which too often gets lost in our busy weeks.  They’ve got some practical tools and observations that will help you break through to a deeper walk with a few other guys.  Are you ready to be energized?

Related Scripture

“And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.” (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

“Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love” (1 Corinthians 16:13-14).

“Let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near” (Hebrews 10:24-25).