Cleaning the house for my coming birthday, I found a new pair of fancy stiletto shoes that I bought sixteen years ago in Russia. I couldn’t get rid of the feeling that I was chased by those shoes like I was chased by a ghost from my past I tried to bury. How did they even end in America? Just one glance at those shoes made me blush. I paid my monthly salary for this pair of shoes that never fit. Why did I do that? To bring a new member to my church in Russia, who tried to sell them on the black market! Elena happened to be my sister’s high school friend, who said, “Lydia, Elena needs money. She is very energetic, she could be of a great help to our church and to you! You are a very young woman and you need fancy shoes – so you could kill two birds with one stone: to get a pair of shoes and a new member.” I argued, whispering, because my sister brought her friend into my house, “I do not wear shoes like those. They are too sexy! I am a minister!” My sister was obviously hurt, “I am trying to help you – that’s all! You do not have to buy the shoes if you don’t like them.” I never paid extra money for anything – that was my principle and the shoes were too small when I tried them on, but the church required a sacrifice. That was not for me – that was for God, I thought, and gave Elena all I had, leaving my family without food.

Elena was a Jew with long eagle-like nose and black curly hair. She was truly energetic but her energy was always directed toward her own interests. It took me awhile to get it until it was too obvious - slowly Elena built her little kingdom in the church, practicing well-known Soviet mentality, “I scratch your back if you scratch mine.” One Sunday morning Elena announced in the church that she was leaving with a small group to start her own church. My sacrifice didn’t save the church from a split. Elena never remembered neither that I saved her from those shoes nor that I helped her to become a pastor. The pair of fancy shoes ironically reminded me before my Birthday that I was a horrible people pleaser.

In the Book of Hebrews we learn several significant characteristics of Jesus Christ. First of all, he, as the Son of God, was above all angels. In Ch. 1 we read, “Let all angels worship him…” (v.5). Christ was the only, who was allowed to sit to the right hand from God Himself (v.13). Second, Jesus Christ was similar to but still above the High Priest Melchizedek (ch.7:1-17). Melchizedek is one of the most mysterious names we could ever find in the Bible. He is mentioned just a few times in the Scripture. First time in the Book of Genesis 14:17-20, when he gave the blessing to Abraham. Nobody had authority to bless Abraham but the King of Salem (Salem is the same as Zion or Jerusalem, as some of the researches say) and the priest of God Most High. Melchizedek set up same patterns for the ministry as later Jesus Christ followed. Christ was the Highest Priest above all High Priests because he was never replaces while all other High Priests before him followed one another. The sacred ceremony of their anointment required them to bring the first sacrifice for their own sins and later every year on the Day of Atonement they had to bring the first sacrifice for themselves before thy will bring the sacrifice for others. Jesus was different – he was sinless. He was pure as an innocent lamb. This explains the third characteristic of Jesus Christ, who was the highest sacrifice himself.

Christ died on the cross to let us come closer to God. The Jews, who followed Christ, got excited at first until they realized that Christianity was not as easy as traditional faith of their fathers. It was much easier to have a High Priest to pray for their sins and to bring the sacrifice for them to God once a year then to live a righteous life every day. On the Day of Atonement the worshippers were not just sprinkled by the blood of the animal on the altar but they were required to walk between the two halves of the body as the visual symbol of stepping on the road that led closer to God. Christ brought his sacrifice once and forever, he became that path. On the day of his death on the cross Christ became that curtain in the Temple that spilt right in the middle to open the door that leads to God.
I remember how solemn and sacred are Russian Orthodox Churches were. You enter the Cathedral in awe and the closer you get to the Golden Gates that covers the altar area – the stronger the feeling becomes. Altar area is the holiest of the Holy – and the priests of the church protect it from strangers in the same way as high priests protected the Tabernacle in the Temple. Women especially are not allowed to come even close to the altar. Priests play the role of mediators between ordinary people and God. When I became the very first minister in Russia it was the worse blasphemy in the eyes of the Russian Orthodox Church and the Russian culture. But I was lucky to be accepted by the Russian Orthodox Archbishop Melchizedek, who called me his granddaughter and even his little girl. One day he invited me to have a tour behind the altar area in his new residence. I raised my arms up, “Oh, no, this is impossible, you forgot that I am a woman!” Melchizedek smiled graciously, “It is OK if I said so. I know that even if you are a little girl you are the chosen one by God Himself. You have my blessing!” That was how this mysterious name Melchizedek made a difference in my life and connected me with the Book of Hebrews forever in the way I was not able to comprehend at the beginning. That special blessing by Melchizedek became for me a short cut to God – a straight path with a special blessing.

When we become Christians, we get as excited as first Jews but then we start falling off. One of the reasons is that we get tired of the pressure of daily discipline – another is the pain of a daily sacrifice and hurt. How many times I screamed right in the middle of my agony, “God, why have you forsaken me? Did I not do enough? Did I now put enough to your feet?” So gradually I understood why the Jews turned away from Christ. In the same way that Jewish woman Elena turned back to the mentality that was so familiar to her and didn’t require growth and pain. For the Jews the view of the animal spilt right in the middle for them was more symbolic and more tangible than the news of the risen Christ. Some people argue about this whole resurrection that is hard to prove.

When I look at the sanctuary with such a traditional floor plan with the isle in the middle I see the same symbolism that the ancient Jews saw on the Day of Atonement, walking between the two halves of the body but of higher meaning. In Ch. 8:5-6 of the Book of Hebrews we read, “They offer worship in a sanctuary that is a sketch and shadow of the heavenly one; for Moses, when he was about to erect the tent, was warned, ‘See that you make everything according to the pattern that was shown you on the mountain.’ But Jesus has now obtained a more excellent ministry, and to that degree he is the mediator of a better covenant, which has been enacted through better promises. For if that first covenant had been faultless, there would have been no need to look for a second one.” Don’t you see it too that the body of Christ is split right in the middle and when we say that we need a prove that Christ is above all angels and that he is the Highest Priest and that he is the highest sacrifice where else can we find a better prove if not in the church? Processing every Sunday morning between two parts of the congregation split right in the middle we should be reminded of pain and agony of Christ when his body is divided. The isle takes us closer to the altar with the cross where we get even closer to God – that path that was created by Christ. But where is Christ? He is right in that curtain, scorching of pain. That is hard to handle to be right in the curtain, but is it not where we, Christians, are expected to be?

It feels good to have things done, and now when I finished the Book of Hebrew, I feel like that. The sacrifice that Jesus Christ brought for me and for us is done once and forever and I do not have to bring more sacrifices. I do not have to buy shoes anymore to please people; I do not have to say, “Yes” when I mean “No”. Christ never did that. To be like Christ all I need is to be right next to him in that curtain, right inside of his body with all of you.

I closed the box with shoes. It felt so good to say good-bye to my past. Once and forever. Christ paid for it with his blood.

Pastor Lydia