Admire Virtuous Actions

From the depths of your heart admire your own virtuous actions and those of others. Take joy in the good things you have done in this lifetime. Focus on specific good deeds such as giving to a charity. The fact that you have a human body in this lifetime and the opportunity to practice altruism is evidence of virtuous actions in past lives. So take joy in those virtues, too, and think to your self, "I really did something good." Also take joy in the virtues of others, whether you have seen them firsthand or not. Take joy in the innumerable virtues of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas over limitless time. By delighting in your own virtues and those of others, you will keep from regretting your own virtuous deeds (wishing you had not given to a charity because it caused your bank account to dwindle, for example) and you will also avoid becoming jealous of the good deeds of others, or competitive with them.

—His Holiness The Dalai Lama
in How to Practice
shared with us by Mirabile Dictu

Apply Secular Ethics

We must find a way of bringing fundamental humanitarian and ethical considerations to bear upon the direction of scientific development, especially in the life sciences. By invoking fundamental ethical principles, I am not advocating a fusion of religious ethics and scientific inquiry. Rather, I am speaking of what I call "secular ethics" that embrace the key ethical principles, such as compassion, tolerance, a sense of caring, consideration of others, and a responsible use of knowledge and power—principles that transcend the barriers between religious believers and nonbelievers, and followers of this religion or that religion. I personally like to imagine all human activities, including science, as individual fingers of a palm: So long as each of these fingers is connected with the palm of basic human empathy and altruism, they will continue to serve the well-being of humanity.

We are truly living in one world. The modern economy, electronic media, international tourism, as well as the environmental problems, all remind us on a daily basis how deeply interconnected the world has become today. Scientific communities play a vitally important role in this interconnected world. For whatever historical reasons, today the scientists enjoy great respect and trust within society, much more so than my own discipline of philosophy and religion. I appeal to scientists to bring into their professional work the dictates of the fundamental ethical principles we all share as human beings.

—His Holiness The Dalai Lama
in In My Own Words
shared with us by Mirabile Dictu

Approach Others with Compassion

My basic belief is that you first need to realize the usefulness of compassion. That's the key factor. Once you accept the fact that compassion is not something childish or sentimental, once you realize that compassion is something really worthwhile, realize its deeper value, then you immediately develop an attraction towards it, a willingness to cultivate it.

And once you encourage the thought of compassion in your mind, once that thought becomes active, then your attitude towards others changes automatically. If you approach others with the thought of compassion, that will automatically reduce fear and allow an openness with other people. It creates a positive, friendly atmosphere. With that attitude, you can approach a relationship in which you, yourself, initially create the possibility of receiving affection or a positive response from the other person. And with that attitude, even if the other person is unfriendly or doesn't respond to you in a positive way, then at least you've approached the person with a feeling of openness that gives you a certain flexibility and the freedom to change your approach as needed. That kind of openness at least allows the possibility of having a meaningful conversation with them. But without the attitude of compassion, if you are feeling closed, irritated, or indifferent, then you can even be approached by your best friend and you just feel uncomfortable.

I think that in many cases people tend to expect the other person to respond to them in a positive way first, rather than taking the initiative themselves to create that possibility. I feel that's wrong; it leads to problems and can act as a barrier that just serves to promote a feeling of isolation from others. So, if you wish to overcome that feeling of isolation and loneliness, I think that your underlying attitude makes a tremendous difference. And approaching others with the thought of compassion in your mind is the best way to do this.

—His Holiness The Dalai Lama
in The Art of Happiness
shared with us by Mirabile Dictu

Be Compassionate

We must be clear about what we mean by compassion. Many forms of compassionate feeling are mixed with desire and attachment. For instance, the love parents feel for their child is often strongly associated with their own emotional needs, so it is not fully compassionate. Again, in marriage, the love between husband and wife—particularly at the beginning, when each partner still may not know the other's deeper character very well—depends more on attachment than genuine love. Our desire can be so strong that the person to whom we are attached appears to be good, when in fact he or she is very negative. In addition, we have a tendency to exaggerate small positive qualities. Thus, when one partner's attitude changes, the other partner is often disappointed and his or her attitude changes, too. This is an indication that love has been motivated more by personal need than by genuine care for the other individual.

True compassion is not just an emotional response, but a firm commitment founded on reason. Therefore, a truly compassionate attitude toward others does not change even if they behave negatively.

Of course, developing this kind of compassion is not at all easy! To start with, let us consider the following facts: Whether people are beautiful or friendly or unattractive and disruptive, ultimately they are human beings, just like oneself. Like oneself, they want happiness and do not want suffering. Furthermore, their right to overcome suffering and be happy is equal to one's own.

Now, when you recognize that all beings are equal in both their desire for happiness and their right to obtain it, you automatically feel empathy and closeness toward them. By accustoming your mind to this sense of universal altruism, you develop a feeling of responsibility for others: the wish to actively help them overcome their problems. Nor is this wish selective; it applies equally to all. As long as they are human beings experiencing pleasure and pain just as you do, there is no logical basis to discriminate between them or to alter your concern for them if they behave negatively.

—His Holiness The Dalai Lama
in In My Own Words
shared with us by Mirabile Dictu

Be Grateful for Your Enemies

In Buddhism in general, a lot of attention is paid to our attitudes towards our rivals or enemies. This is because hatred can be the greatest stumbling block to the development of compassion and happiness. If you can learn to develop patience and tolerance towards your enemies, then everything else becomes much easier—your compassion towards all others begins to flow naturally.

So, for a spiritual practitioner, one's enemies play a crucial role. As I see it, compassion is the essence of a spiritual life. And in order for you to become fully successful in practicing love and compassion, the practice of patience and tolerance is indispensable. There is no fortitude similar to patience, just as there is no affliction worse than hatred. Therefore, one must exert one's best efforts not to harbor hatred towards the enemy, but rather use the encounter as an opportunity to enhance one's practice of patience and tolerance.

In fact, the enemy is the necessary condition for practicing patience. Without an enemy's action, there is no possibility for patience or tolerance to arise. Our friends do not ordinarily test us and provide the opportunity to cultivate patience; only our enemies do this. So, from this standpoint we can consider our enemy as a great teacher, and revere them for giving us this precious opportunity to practice patience.

Now there are many, many people in the world, but relatively few with whom we interact, and even fewer who cause us problems. So when you come across such a chance for practicing patience and tolerance, you should treat it with gratitude. It is rare. Just as having unexpectedly found a treasure in your own house, you should be happy and grateful towards your enemy for providing that precious opportunity. Because if you are ever to be successful in your practice of patience and tolerance, which are critical factors in counteracting negative emotions, it is due to the combination of your own efforts and also the opportunity provided by your enemy.

—His Holiness The Dalai Lama
in The Art of Happiness
shared with us by Mirabile Dictu

Cultivate Equanimity

The first step in actually developing the conventional awakening mind, which is concerned with the interests of others, is to appreciate the faults of self-centeredness and the advantages of cherishing others. A principal practice for developing this awakening mind is the practice of exchanging oneself with others. There are different explanations about how to engage in this practice. In all the explanations, one factor is common: It is necessary at the outset to regard sentient beings with affection. We should think of them as pleasing and attractive and try to cultivate a strong sense of affection for them. This requires generating a sense of equanimity that regulates our fluctuating emotions toward other sentient beings.

To do this, it is very helpful to visualize three people in front of you: one who is your relative or friend, another who is an enemy, and someone toward whom you feel neutral. Observe your natural reaction to them. Usually we are predisposed to feeling close to our relatives, distant from our enemies, and indifferent to everyone else. When you think about your friend, you feel close to her and immediately have a sense of concern for her welfare. When you think about your enemy, you immediately feel uncomfortable and ill at ease. You might even be pleased if he were to run into difficulties. When you think about the person toward whom you feel neutral, you find you do not really care whether that person is miserable or happy. You feel indifferent. When you recognize such fluctuating emotions, ask yourself whether they are justified. If you imagine your friend doing you harm, you will find that your reaction to her will change.

Those whom we call our friends in this present life have not been our friends forever. Neither have those we presently think of as enemies been hostile forever. This person who is a friend or relative in this lifetime could have been our enemy in a past lifetime. Similarly, the person whom we regard as an enemy now could have been one of our parents in a previous life. Therefore, it is foolish only to be concerned about those we think of now as friends and to disregard those we think of as enemies.

The aim here is to reduce attachment toward your relatives and friends, while reducing anger and hatred toward your enemies. Reflect upon the notion that there is no sentient being who has not been your friend. This is how you cultivate equanimity toward all other sentient beings.

—His Holiness The Dalai Lama
in In My Own Words
shared with us by Mirabile Dictu

Don't Speak Badly of People

To be aware of a single shortcoming within oneself is more useful than to be aware of a thousand in somebody else. Rather than speaking badly about people and in ways that will produce friction and unrest in their lives, we should practice a purer perception of them, and when we speak of others, speak of their good qualities.

—His Holiness The Dalai Lama
in The Path to Tranquility
shared with us by Mirabile Dictu

Embrace Interdependence

In this country, one's existence is closely related to the existence of other people. Economy, education and many other fields are heavily interdependent. The concepts of "us" and "them" are no longer relevant. The whole world is like a part of your body. Take, for example, my foot and hand. If there is some pain in my leg, my hand goes there to rub it and nurture it. Similarly, you neighbor may have a serious problem, but he is still your neighbor and part of your community. You have to develop a sense of compassion, caring, and a sense of connectedness because the destruction of your neighbor, or your neighboring country, is actually a destruction of yourself. Under these circumstances we need a broader view to look at humanity as one human family. Yes, there are different races, different customs, religions—if you want to look for differences, they can always be found. In spite of that, we share the same planet, and if others suffer, we suffer eventually. If we are happy, they are also going to benefit. So in this respect we need a sense of global responsibility, a universal responsibility.

If one thinks more about others, then a sense of caring develops. This way of thinking brings more inner strength. Caring for others makes one feel that others are okay. On the other hand, if one thinks only about oneself, it perpetuates a feeling of inadequacy within oneself. Still there is the feeling that one needs more, and this kind of feeling automatically brings suspicion, resulting in more anxiety and restlessness. The same mind with the same concerns of pain and suffering, is concerned only with one's own pain and happiness. This creates an emptiness and the result is fear and insecurity. But the same attitude with the concern for others with pain and suffering brings inner strength. Worrying about oneself brings more fear, more doubt. And doubt and suspicion are always accompanied with a sense of insecurity and loneliness.

—His Holiness The Dalai Lama
in A Better Way
shared with us by Mirabile Dictu

Forgive Your Enemies

"So to be able to forgive your enemies can make a difference to one's spiritual progress?" I [Victor Chan] asked the Dalai Lama.

"Yes, yes, there is no doubt," he replied. "It's crucial. It's one of the most important things. It can change one's life. To reduce hatred and other destructive emotions, you must develop their opposites—compassion and kindness. If you have strong compassion, strong respect for others, then forgiveness is much easier. Mainly for this reason, I do not want to harm another. Forgiveness allows you to be in touch with these positive emotions. This will help with spiritual development."

"Is there a special meditation technique that you use?" I asked.

"I use a meditation technique called giving and taking," the Dalai Lama explained. "I make visualization: send my positive emotions like happiness, affection to others. Then another visualization. I visualize receiving their sufferings, their negative emotions. I do this every day. I pay special attention to the Chinese—especially those doing terrible things to the Tibetans. So, as I meditate, I breathe in all their poisons—hatred, fear, cruelty. Then I breathe out. And I let all the good things come out, things like compassion, forgiveness. I take inside my body all these bad things. Then I replace poisons with fresh air. Giving and taking. I take care not to blame—I don't blame the Chinese, and I don't blame myself. This meditation is very effective, useful to reduced hatred, useful to cultivate forgiveness.

—His Holiness The Dalai Lama
in The Wisdom of Forgiveness
shared with us by Mirabile Dictu

Make a Pledge

On one side of our planet there are people living a lavish life with the profits made from selling arms, while innocent people are getting killed with those sophisticated arms on the other side of our planet. Therefore, the first step is to stop selling weapons. Sometimes I tease my Swedish friends: "Oh, you are really wonderful. During the last period of conflict you remained neutral. And you always consider the importance of human rights and world peace. Very good. But in the meantime you are selling many weapons. This is a little hypocritical, isn't it?"

At the time of the Persian Gulf crisis I made an inner pledge—a commitment that for the rest of my life I would contribute to furthering the idea of demilitarization. As far as my own country is concerned, I have made up my mind that in the future, Tibet should be a completely demilitarized zone. Once again, in working to bring about demilitarization, the key factor is human compassion.

—His Holiness The Dalai Lama
in The Compassionate Life
shared with us by Mirabile Dictu

Meet Adversity with a Positive Attitude

It is important to diminish undisciplined states of mind, but it is even more important to meet adversity with a positive attitude. Keep this in mind: By greeting trouble with optimism and hope, you are undermining worse troubles down the line. Beyond that, imagine that you are easing the burden of everyone suffering problems of that kind. This practice—imagining that by accepting your pain you are using up the negative karma of everyone destined to feel such pain—is very helpful. Sometimes when I am sick, I practice taking others' suffering to myself and giving them my potential for happiness; this provides a good deal of mental relief.

Every day in the early morning, and especially when I have the time, I do this practice in a general way with regard to all living beings. But in particular I single out Chinese leaders and those officials who must make decisions on the spot to torture or kill particular Tibetans. I visualize them, and draw their ignorance, prejudice, hatred, and pride into myself. I feel that because of my own training, even if in reality I could absorb some portion of their negative attitudes, it could not influence my behavior and turn me into a negative person. Therefore, ingesting their negativities is not that much of a problem for me, but it lessens their problems. I do this with such strong feeling that if later in the day in my office I hear of their atrocities, although one part of my mind is a little irritated and angry, the main part is still under the influence of the morning practice; the intensity of the hatred is reduced to the point where it is groundless.

Whether this meditation really helps those officials or not, it gives me peace of mind. Then I can be more effective; the benefit is immense.

—His Holiness The Dalai Lama
in How to Practice
shared with us by Mirabile Dictu

Practice Nonviolence

There are many kinds of violence and nonviolence, but one cannot distinguish them by external factors alone. If one's motivation is negative, the action it produces is, in the deepest sense, violent, even though it may appear to be smooth and gentle. Conversely, if one's motivation is sincere and positive but the circumstances require harsh behavior, essentially one is practicing nonviolence. No matter what the case may be, I feel that compassionate concern for the benefit of others—not simply for oneself—is the sole justification for the use of force.

The genuine practice of nonviolence is still somewhat experimental on our planet, but its pursuit, based on love and understanding, is sacred. If this experiment succeeds, it can open the way to a far more peaceful world.

I have heard the occasional Westerner maintain that long-term Gandhian struggles employing nonviolent passive resistance do not suit everybody, and that such courses of action are more natural in the East. Because Westerners are active, they tend to seek immediate results in all situations, even at the cost of their lives. This approach, I believe, is not always beneficial. But surely the practice of nonviolence suits us all. It simply calls for determination. Even though the freedom movements of Eastern Europe reached their goals quickly, nonviolent protest by its very nature usually requires patience.

—His Holiness The Dalai Lama
in In My Own Words
shared with us by Mirabile Dictu

Smile

Although sometimes people laugh when I say it, I myself always want more friends. I love smiles. Because of this, I have the problem of knowing how to make more friends and how to get more smiles—in particular, genuine smiles. For there are many kinds of smiles, such as sarcastic, artificial, or diplomatic smiles. Many smiles produce no feeling of satisfaction, and sometimes they can even create suspicion or fear, can't they? But a genuine smile really gives us a feeling of freshness, and is, I believe, unique to human beings. If these are the smiles we want, then we ourselves must create the reasons for them to appear.

—His Holiness The Dalai Lama
in In His Own Words
shared with us by Mirabile Dictu

Teach the Children Well

A question from French screenwriter Jean-Claude Carriere: Yesterday, near the hotel, I saw a group of Tibetan children playing very noisily. Their game consisted in pulling all the trash out of a garbage can and throwing it in all directions. I stopped, I wondered, What are they doing? Why?

His Holiness the Dalai Lama: They're seven or eight years old. They were born into a garbage filled world. For them nature is full of plastic. That's how it is, they never saw it the way it was before. They don't know that the world used to be beautiful. The very notion of beauty may be something they'll never experience.

Then what should we do?

All we have is education. It's our only weapon, along with the example we can set. And this education, from the Buddhist viewpoint, begins with the notion of interdependence. Everything depends on everything else. The life of those children you saw playing is directly bound up with the dirty paper they snatch out of the garbage cans. This has to be said and explained; above all it has to be proved.

It's a long task.

Yes, an everyday task that will never be finished. But that's the price we have to pay for our survival and for the quality of our survival. This shared awareness is essential if we want to improve, however little, our own attitude toward the world, our own relationship with it. We must overcome the isolation of our mind, we must renew our ties with the rest of the universe. Otherwise we are lost. Lost because separate. We have to show people, indefatigably, that our interest is the interest of others. And when I say "others," I'm not thinking just of human beings, who are evidently the same as us. I'm thinking of all the other forms of life, on this earth and outside this earth.

—His Holiness The Dalai Lama
in Violence & Compassion
shared with us by Mirabile Dictu

View Everyone as Your Parent

Buddhism teaches us to view all sentient beings as our dear mothers and to show our gratitude to our mothers by loving all sentient beings. One of the first actions we took in life was to suck milk from our mother's nipple, mother's milk being the very symbol of love and compassion. Scientists have documented through research on monkeys that offspring who are separated from their mothers for a prolonged period are more tense and harsh, lacking the capacity to express friendliness to others, whereas those brought up with their mothers are more playful, which implies happiness. According to the Buddhist outlook, we are born and reborn countless numbers of times, which means it is conceivable that each sentient being has been our parent at one time or another. In this way all beings share family ties. From the moment of our birth, we are under the care and kindness of our parents; later in life, when we face the suffering of disease and old age, we are again dependent on the kindness of others. If at the beginning and end of our lives we depend upon the kindness of others, why in the middle of our lives should we not act kindly toward them? It is the pragmatic choice.

—His Holiness The Dalai Lama
in How to See Yourself as You Really Are
shared with us by Mirabile Dictu