What you need is a bulldozer. Make room for the things of God in your life. Let in  the peace, love, joy, and happiness that comes by serving God. Put worry, doubt, unbelief, hate, discord, jealousy, and every evil thought and action in a pile for destruction. You are like a balloon with too much air, ready to explode. What is the purpose of that? Who does that help? When you explode it covers a large area. No way of making repairs. The damage is unrepairable. You are torn in every direction and need help desperately. Don't try to salvage junk. Walk away and let God's peace take control. You will save yourself alot of regrets. Hurt leaves scare. Cherish what you have and treat it with special love. Build up, don't tear down. If you destroy, you are left with nothing. Discord drives away. Overpowering authority kills. Let God show you the workable way that will bring peace and love and happiness. You then can get rid of the bulldozer as you won't be needing it anymore.

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