III.  POSITIVE ATTITUDES

Encouragement requires positive attitudes; and to have positive attitudes we must show courtesy, kindness and patience toward each other.

A little verse says,

So many gods; so many creeds;
So many paths that wind and wind.
When all this sad world really needs
Is just the art of being kind.

A few years ago, in Ann Landers' column, there was a letter from a woman who had been viewing an art exhibit among hundreds of strangers.  Suddenly a young woman approached her and said, "You are such a beautiful lady."  The older woman was thunderstruck, saying in her letter to Ann:

"I'm eighty years old and never considered myself anything special to look at.  But I'm healthy and happy and grateful to the good Lord for all His blessings.  Maybe this is what comes through in my face.  Every day this week I have been cheered by that one lovely compliment."

She continued: "Why shouldn't we compliment strangers?  I often see someone in a crowd who is inspiring—an older man with a wonderful smile, or a harried young mother who treats her children with respect in a difficult situation, or someone who's extra friendly in the grocery line.  But to actually compliment a stranger out loud?  I wasn't sure I could do it.

A few weeks later, when I was at the beauty shop getting a haircut, I took a deep breath and said to the woman next to me, ‘You have beautiful hair and that style is so becoming.'

The woman, who was about my age, beamed.  We started talking, and before long discovered we were practically neighbors and knew some people in common.  Now, whenever I see her around town, we smile and exchange greetings.  We're no longer strangers, we're friends."

An old verse says:

Through this toilsome world, alas!
Once and only once I pass;
If a neighborly hello,
Or a kindness I may show,
To a lonely fellow man,
Let me do it while I can.
No delay, for it is plain
I shall not pass this way again.
—Unknown


As Christians we need to have positive attitudes toward each other.

I.  TO HAVE A POSITIVE ATTITUDE, WE MUST BE COURTEOUS.

Don't make the mistake of supposing that just because a person is successful or famous, he has no need for a feeling of importance.  Courtesy, politeness and good manners are all based upon the universal hunger of people to feel that they have some personal worth.

All of us not only need to feel that we are important; we need to feel that other people recognize and acknowledge our importance.  People cannot maintain thier feelings of dignity and worth, so necessary to their well-being, if everyone they meet treats them as if they are "nobody" and worthless.

One night a young mother was up with a sick baby.  Next morning she was very tired, but she cooked breakfast and helped her husband get ready for work.

As he started out the door, he hugged her and said, "You are such a wonderful wife, I don't know how baby and I could get along without you."

These few words of praise made her forget how long and how hard the night had been.  She sang as she washed the dishes.

The woman next door heard the song and it brightened her day.  A boy coming to bring the neighbor's groceries heard the woman singing and he started to whistle.  An old man in the grocery store heard the happy whistling when the boy returned and remembered his own youth.  He, too, had been a delivery boy, helping to support his brothers and a widowed mother.  As he thought of all God's blessings through the years, he went over to the shelves and filled a basket with generous amount of groceries.  "Take this basket to that family down the street who was having a hard time," he told the boy. 

You see, we have no idea where our thoughtfulness will lead.  The effects of that young husband's few words probably haven't ended yet.  The ripples go on and on.  Courtesy is contagious.

As Christians, we must show courtesy to each other.  Peter said, "Live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble" (I Peter 3:8).

II.  THEN, TO HAVE A POSITIVE ATTITUDE, WE MUST BE KIND.

An older lady recalled her past and said, "One year, during our Christmas program in church, the teacher overlooked one of his ten-year-old girls when he passed out the parts.

While her classmates excitedly chattered about playing the roles of Mary, Joseph, or one of the shepherds, the little girl said, "I don't care.  I don't want to be in that old play anyway," and turned to walk away.

Fortunately, a bystander overheard her and realized that of course the slighted child did not mean what she had said, and that she desperately wanted to be included.  So the young woman went to the teacher.  "But I already have five angels," he said.  "I don't think the Scripture limits angels to any particular number," was the woman's reply.

Well, soon some glittering Christmas tree garland and a part of a worn white sheet transformed a shy little girl into a bright-eyed angel.

Are you sensitive to the needs of the shy?  If so, those to whom you reach out to will be grateful.  And perhaps they will take a cue from you and try to be equally aware of others' needs.

I know whereof I speak, because you see, many, many years ago, I was that little girl.

A poem expresses it this way:

Is there someone who is happy, just because you passed his way?
Or, does anyone remember that you spoke to him today?
Now that sunset comes upon us, and the toiling time is through.
Is there anyone to utter some small grateful words for you?
Can you say tonight in passing with the days that slipped so fast,
That you helped a single person, of the many that you passed?
Is a single heart rejoicing over what you did or said?
Does someone whose hopes were fading now with courage look ahead?
Did you waste the day, or use it?
Was it well or poorly spent?
Did you leave a trail of kindness or a scene of discontent?
—Adapted

As Christians, we must show kindness to each other.  Paul said, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you" (Eph. 4:32). "Always try to be kind to each other . . ." (I Thess. 5:15).
 
III.  FINALLY, TO HAVE A POSITIVE ATTITUDE, WE MUST BE PATIENT.

A man said, "Our car wouldn't start this morning and I was furious.  I kicked a tire and muttered nasty thoughts about machines.  Later, I was overcome with remorse when I realized that this was the first time our three-year-old car had failed to start.  That's once out of about eleven thousand starts.  Besides, I was the one who had left the dome light on all night, running down the battery!

Sometimes I make the same unfair judgments of people.  I'm annoyed when the paper boy misses the porch now and then, when the postman gives us the neighbor's mail by mistake.  I grumble when my wife forgets to wash my favorite shirt, and sigh when the kids leave the TV on all night.

From now on, I plan to pay a little more attention to what people do right.  I'm going to praise my students who have good attendance and compliment those who ask me hard questions in class.  I'm going to ask God to make me more patient with those now-and-then failures we all have.

To celebrate her husband's birthday, Joan planned a surprise dinner party for a few of his closest friends.  She decorated the dining room, prepared an elaborate meal, including a new gourmet recipe for the main course and her husband's favorite homemade cheesecake for dessert.

When the last guest had left, Joan asked her husband if he had enjoyed the evening.  He considered a moment before replying, then said, "Why do you always experiment with the food when we're having company?  I didn't think that new recipe turned out well at all."

Though he selected only one element to find fault with, that criticism implicitly put down everything his wife had done to make the evening a success.  No matter that she had tried to please her husband; no matter that she had put time, thought and effort into the party; no matter that she had invited his favorite people and baked his favorite dessert; no matter that she may have done a dozen things perfectly and only one with which he could find fault.  Her husband's selective criticism left Joan feeling that the entire evening had been a failure.

Everyone has bad days.  Everyone has failures.  Everyone forgets or neglects his duties at times.  Everyone needs a second chance.

As Christians, we must have patience with each other.  Paul said, "And we urge you, brothers . . . encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone" (I Thess. 5:14b).

CONCLUSION:

Encouragement includes showing courtesy, kindness and patience with each other.  A writer said, "I was born into a loving, secure family; yet as I grew up, I was painfully shy elsewhere.  Doubtless, I'd still be shy had it not been for certain people:

There was Mr. Smith who bent down to my eight-year-old height and said, "With those big brown eyes, you'll have lots of boyfriends some day."  His words stayed tattooed on my memory when classmates were swooning over each other and I was still hoping one of the "neat" guys would notice me.  Ten years passed before one did, but Mr. Smith's words kept me from despair.

And then, there was "Miss Lulu," my college Latin teacher.  I detested Latin, but it was a required course for a journalism degree.  One day after I had translated a difficult passage, Miss Lulu said, "That was excellent"; and I ended up with an "A" in the course—all because of three words from her.

So, today, I remember, and am thankful for the Mr. Smiths and the Miss Lulus who saw potential—who saw potential and knew how to instill confidence and self-esteem in a  young and immature girl.

Every human being is a millionaire in human relations.  The great tragedy is that too many of us hoard this wealth, or dole it out stingily.  Or, worse still, don't even realize we possess it.

During World War II, when people were hungry for meat, and meat was scarce, the butcher became the most popular man in the community.

Yet, every day of your life the people with whom you come into contact, are hungry and thirsty for food that you could give them.

One of the most universal hungers is the hunger to feel significant, to have your personal worth as a human being confirmed by others, to be appreciated, to be noticed.

It's within your power to add to the feelings of personal worth of many individuals.  It's within your power to make them like themselves a little better.  It's within your power to make them feel appreciated and accepted.

In short, you have the bread to feed this human hunger.

God gave each of us different talents, but all of us have one ability in common: We can encourage one another.

As you interact with strangers, associates and friends, are you always courteous?  Are you always kind?  Are you always patient?  That's a Christian obligation.  The Scriptures say, "Let us consider and give attentive, continuous care to watching over one another, studying how we may stimulate to love and helpful deeds and noble activities; Not forsaking or neglecting to assemble together, as is the habit of some people, but . . . encouraging—one another . . ." (Heb. 10:24-25a, Amp).
(WC1984)
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This message  is from an unpublished manuscript © copyrighted 2005 by Miles and Maralene Wesner, Idabel, OK.  PLEASE FEEL FREE TO USE THEM IN ANY WAY YOU THINK IS APPROPRIATE.  The only thing we ask is that you give credit for original material in PUBLISHED works. 

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