Customary for the

Celebration and Blessing of A Marriage

General Requirements

1. In the Episcopal Church at least one of the persons to be married must be a baptized Christian.

2. A minimum of thirty days notice must be given to the clergy by those contemplating marriage. (Title I Canon Sec. 3).

3. A minimum of three (3) counseling sessions with the clergy are required to explore some of the theological, spiritual, and emotional aspects of marriage the Church affirms. When geographic considerations make this impractical to be done at St. Matthew’s the couple will arrange similar counseling where they reside. Alternative arrangements for counseling must be approved by the clergy of St. Matthew’s Church.

4. No public announcement, publicity, or the sending of invitations is to be done until the clergy have met with the couple and stated their consent to officiate at the contemplated marriage.

5. Every priest of the Episcopal Church has the discretion to decline to preside or officiate at any marriage.

6. It is expected that at least one of the persons desiring to be married (or their parents or family) is a registered member of St. Matthew’s in good standing having given financial support of record.

7. On occasion, when neither the bride nor groom is a member of Saint Matthew’s, the clergy may agree to officiate at their marriage. The primary concern is for the couple’s continuing relationship to a parish community and their spiritual growth after their marriage. Requests from non-Episcopalians to “use” or “rent the church” cannot be honored.

1. Remarriage of divorced persons may be possible with the consent of the Bishop of Rhode Island.  There are specific guidelines and requirements set forth by the Bishop’s Office that apply in all cases.

2 . All other provisions of the Church’s Canon on Marriage noted above under General Requirements apply.

The Wedding Liturgy

I. The Wedding Service: The Celebration and Blessing of a Marriage (Book of Common Prayer pages 422-483) is first and foremost a service of worship in the Episcopal Church. Though the service has a personal and special dimension for the couple being married, it is nevertheless not a private service, but a public liturgy of the Church.

II. Planning the Service: The wedding liturgy is planned by both the couple and officiating clergy. The Prayer Book Service provides for flexibility and choices that the couple may exercise in consultation with the clergy.

III. Other Clergy: Other clergy may participate and assist if the couple so desires with the permission of the rector of Saint Matthew’s, who will then formally invite the guest clergy to participate in an assisting role.

IV. Organist: The parish organist is responsible for the music at all wedding services. With the permission of the organist and rector, other persons skilled in music as soloists or instrumentalists known to the couple may be used in an adjunct way within the wedding liturgy. When other musicians assist, the professional fees for the parish organist still applies.

V. Music. All music needs to be approved by the Parish Organist and/or Clergy. A list of appropriate music is available. Musical selections are to be Christian in intent and expression in accord with the norms of the Prayer Book and the Hymnal. Popular music, show tunes and movie music are not permissible within the liturgy though such selections might appropriately be used at the reception following the service.

VI. Rehearsal: The wedding license is to be brought to the rehearsal and given to the officiating clergy. The entire wedding party is expected to attend and should arrive promptly. The rehearsal is under the direction of the officiating priest.

VII. Ushers: During or before the rehearsal the couple should decide which members of the family they wish seated in special places and which usher will seat the mother of the groom and the mother of the bride.

VIII. Unity Candle: The so-called “unity candle” is not part of the Prayer Book Service and it is not used at St. Matthew’s.

IX. Service Bulletin: The parish will print a wedding service bulletin if one is desired, or a bulletin may be printed elsewhere at the couple’s expense. The contents and the layout of the order of the service must first be approved by the officiating priest.

Altar Flowers & Decorations

After the clergy have consented to officiate at the marriage and a date has been set, the couple will be asked to contact a member of the parish Altar Guild regarding altar flowers and decorations.

The Altar Guild will arrange and place the altar flowers ordered by the bride. Florist’s arrangements are not used as altar decorations. If a wedding is held on a Saturday, it is the custom of this parish to leave the wedding flowers on the altar for Sunday services in thanksgiving for the marriage. Flowers delivered to the church for the Altar Guild to arrange should be cut with long stems and labeled with the name of the bride.

No flowers or decorations may be taped, nailed, or otherwise affixed to the pews, walls or doors of the church. However, small pew decorations may be tied in place in a manner which will not harm the painted surface of the pews. No rice, confetti or other material may be thrown in the church or on the grounds; these are difficult to remove and in some cases pose a danger to those using the sidewalks and entrances.

Photographs / Video

The photographer chosen by the couple must consult with the officiating clergy prior to the wedding service, preferably at the rehearsal. Only the photographer designated by the couple is to take photographs during the service. Ushers should alert camera-carrying guests that photos are not permitted in the church during the liturgy.

Posing for photos after the liturgy produces the best pictures. We ask that the time for this be limited to one hour. Under no circumstances is it permissible for a photographer or others to move or remove candles, altar rail cushions, the lectern stand or any of the chancel or sanctuary furniture in connection with taking of photos.

The parish hall of the church may be used for a reception by contributing members at no charge. If the use of the hall is desired, it must be reserved in consultation with the rector. It will be understood that the hall will be left clean and in good order. Because of insurance liability, no alcoholic beverages may be served except beer and wine, and the family hosting the reception must sign a “hold harmless” agreement exempting the parish from any liability which may happen as a result of the reception .

Costs

There is a Sexton’s Fee of $50.00 for all weddings.

The organist's fee is $250.00 and includes consultation and playing at the wedding service.  This check is made payable to the organist and should be presented to the organist prior to the wedding. Although it is not customary for the organist to be at the rehearsal, he/she will attend, if asked, for an additional cost.

There are no fees for the rector, but gifts of appreciation can be made to the Rector’s Discretionary Fund.

For those not active or supporting members of St. Matthew’s of record, there is a charge of $500.00 for weddings in addition to the sexton and organist fee. A counseling preparation fee may also be required. For good cause, at the discretion of the rector, some or all of these costs for non-members may be modified or waived.