Good morning, I’ve been saying the serenity prayer about five million times over this morning. This came about because a brother in my program two years ago, the second time that I had attended this church, spoke up and stood up and gave praise to God for 21 months clean and sober off of methamphetamine at that time. I knew in my heart that I needed to stand up and give a testimony to what God had done for me.

It’s been a couple years since I started coming here. And I also knew that there was a verse in the bible, that it took me a long time to find. And finally through my daily meditation that I get online, God handed me the verse of Mark 5: 19, 20. And if you are familiar with that parable, about the paraplegic that laid on the mat for thirty eight years. And Jesus came along and He healed him. Well that’s kind of the story of my life.

As some of you know through fellowship, bible studies and the programs I am involve with, I have a disease. Which tells me, which is Satan, that I have no disease, alcoholism and addiction. Today I would like to share with you some of my story. I some of you may think that this is a way of boasting, not at all. This is for Gods glory and His alone, because without Him I am nothing.

At the age of six or seven I experienced Sunday school for my first time. I remember learning of Noah’s ark, the story of Jericho, Jonah and the whale, and a slight bit about Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. And of course when sin entered the world through Adam and Eve. And other bits and pieces surrounding these people. Most importantly, I remember standing on a stage reciting John 3:16 during a Christmas pageant, while my mom sat in the audience being the proud parent. During my earlier teens, I attended churches of different denominations with friends. Just seemed I was always searching for where I belonged or something to be a part of. When I think about it now, I was looking to be accepted. I soon fell away from those who fellowshipped with, the learning of God’s word. I learned through much treatment that I tended to be just a tad obsessive when I got involved in anything. So a great example is I started roller-skating at the age of twelve. All my spare time and energy was put in to it. Seven days a week, I was at the rink. I’d practice for competition, dance, free style, and speed. It gave me that independence, so I thought. But what it really was, was another vice. Then I got involved with one of my coaches who was ten years older. And he introduced me to alcohol and shortly after drugs. I was fourteen. Always experienced heartbreak and loneliness. Always a follower never a leader. I was never taught to communicate my feelings. Balance was one of my shortcomings. Married at seventeen, falling farther and farther away from God. Work and alcohol were my outs. I became an adulteress . looking for approval, always running. Running somewhat like Jonah. Divorced and remarried and enjoyed a loving experience with child birth in my second marriage. Sons are now 25 and 27. My happiness was based on children, work, and weekends of alcohol and cocaine, were in the mix. I found no soulless in these addictions. I smiled and laughed at the appropriate times, because that’s what a loving wife and mother should do. After thirteen years of marriage, I soon began looking elsewhere for happiness. Alcohol , drugs, and men. When it came down to that point, my feeling with shame and guilt set in and I ran again.

Years of living here and there, addicted to cocaine and alcohol and a life style of partying in bars. It became normal for me in a sense, I mean it’s like the people I associated with, they were all living the same as I was. So I was forced to belong. They have a quote in the AA program, “jails, institutions, and death.” It’s where alcohol and addictions lead. After endless times in jail, I entered the gates of prison at the age of 41. I reached out to the Lord at this time. Fifteen months of incarceration. It just never sunk in. so once I was released, I stayed clean for a short time. About six months, which treatment didn’t take and I was on the run again. Various times God spoke to my heart and I just wasn’t listening.

In 2002, I was lost in the wilderness once again and found myself in a jail where I knew no one. I was introduced to a faith filled group of women from Teen Challenge Jail Ministry over in Kennewick. They helped me know more of God, and their program through bible studies. Which I still work on today and I still correspond with them. It’s a wonderful group of women. I would from there to spend two more years in prison. Where I read, worked and even listen to the spirit radio station daily while incarcerated. I was baptized in May of 2003. It was very spirit filled, I was baptized in prison. It was, it was I just couldn’t get it, I just couldn’t get the concept of allowing God to take the wheel.

I was released in 2004. And outside the walls nothing had changed. Fear was still running my life. I soon fell back in to that destructive behavior. Woke to find myself in the Yakima County jail, and immediately requested to be transferred to the God pod. Thank you Jesus. Where I had been before. This was it, I’d had enough. I can’t imagine what I would have felt like because when I was sitting in that jail, I was hit with three new felony charges. And that would have put me away for five to ten years. While I was there, T had experienced a whole new faith. A whole new knowledge that God could do for me what I could not do for myself. So I surrendered.

Through much prayer and meditation, my fear was lifted, my family very supportive, I was surrounded by God’s love. I don’ know what I would have done had I not been in that pod. With all those volunteers they have over there. It’s just a wonderful place if you have to be in jail. Anyway through much prayer and meditation, I kept my hope up and my faith high and the Lord sustained me through the waiting. I was transported to King county jail. Yes scary county jail. Where I would be allowed to enter a program to get the treatment needed instead of doing time, which was drug court. And that is an awesome program. And after extensive prayer and classes, I was granted the opportunity that which some of you may remember, I graduated from drug court last November. My felonies were dropped. Thank you Jesus. During that time I received the treatment I needed to better understand myself and the disease of addiction, and behaviors that go along with that. Make amends to myself and other. And I continue to work through traumatic experiences today that have kept me in bondage for many, many years. I learned through God’s infinite grace that He has forgiven me. And now it is time to forgive myself.

I can never say thank you enough, enough to the church body for accepting me for who I was, and who I am today. I now feel that I am fulfilling the purpose and path that God has given me as an active member here at Neighborhood Chapel. And when I continue to learn of God’s word and learn how to apply it to my life today. I am also a member of AA. And I appreciate all the support I have here from the program today. Cause in the flesh I am who I am, I’m a alcoholic and addict. And I cannot forget that. Because it’s a cunning, baffling and powerful disease. So I need to nourish that through my meetings and through support of my sponsor, people in the program. I have been released of the desire to drink or use. I must continue to share my experience, strength and hope with those who come after me and get from those who have come before. I start school September 21st to become a chemical dependency counselor. Where I shall learn more on how to help other like me as a professional. I believe that this shall open doors for endless opportunities to share God’s love and give back what was so freely given to me. Today I’m truly on of Gods miracles. And a true testimony of what our Lord and Savior can do for those who trust and believe in Him, and those who do the work to better themselves under His true and amazing grace. Thank you.